This is a "pen." This is a "pencil."
Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Happy Days.
I'm going to share with you a special story about a super lazy woman.
There's a name for them. They're called "yú gàn nǚ." (T/N: meaning is dried fish woman)
Someday, I'm in the park.
This is Fang Ru. She lives in an underwear jungle.
My name is Mary! No, it isn't.
What's your name? Your name is Fang Ru! It's a beautiful name!
Oh! Really? Are you Mary too?
No, my name is Allen Thompson, but you'll know me soon enough.
I come from a small town in America very far away from here.
When I first got to Beitou it actually made me feel very much at home.
It must have been the sulfur. My aunt smells like eggs, I don't know why, but I love her.
Anyway, Taipei is a great city,
full of surprises and really nice people.
Marco Polo traveled to Asia a long time ago, but too bad he never made it to Taiwan.
I beat you, Marco Polo. How's it feel?
But I digress. My trip to Taiwan and everything that happened to me when I was there
was surprisingly actually set in motion by a young Shu Min
in 1972.
Timing and Subtitles brought to you by The Lovers on the Metro Team @ Viki
♫ She slowly closes her eyes ♫
♫ The corners of her mouth tilt upward ♫
♫ Through the mountain of people Swimming across the sea of people ♫
♫ I detach myself from those affairs ♫
♫ Lovers may have lots of things that they don't understand ♫
♫ They only know that you don't have to buy a rose if you can't afford to ♫
♫ Not understanding love Only enjoying love ♫
♫ Loving so freely ♫
♫ For lovers, not every little thing needs a confession ♫
♫ Also, there probably doesn't seem to be a need to say it aloud ♫
♫ Loving fully with the heart No interest in guessing ♫
♫ People who have too many arrangements ♫
♫ have endless arrangements to make ♫
Metro of LoveWelcome to the Happy Days (Dried-Fish Woman) Episode 1
♫ The rainbow-colored neon light poses attractively.
♫ You aren’t allowed to return home if you aren’t drunk.
♫ If there is serendipity, we’ll meet regardless. Otherwise, we’ll be gone with the wind.
♫ In the village of Hot Springs, there aren’t debts for relationships.
♫ Please treasure me as a fragrant branch.
♫ The youth won’t return once it passes by.
Sorry.
Good afternoon.
- Welcome. Are you staying? - Yes, I am.
Show me your passport, please.
Please sign in.
This. Is it you?
Yes.
You're handsome.
I guess I'm still hot even abroad.
The telephone is ringing.
Wait a moment, please.
Fast-forward to today.
Idiot!
The telephone is ringing.
The telephone, the telephone, the telephone...
Aiya! Aiya! Aiya...
Grandma!
The telephone, go pick up the telephone.
How did you fall like this?
Go pick up the telephone.
The doctor said at our age,
it's fortunate that the leg is just fractured.
How long will it take to better?
The doctor said it will take about half a year.
Half a year?
Yeah, yeah, don't worry grandma. Oh darn, it's dying, it's dying.
Are you worrying about the hotel?
- Of course! - Don't you worry.
Ah Hai Yi and Fang Ru can take care of the hotel.
-And you? -Me...I will take care of you.
What do you mean take care of me?
-What are you laughing at? -Eh, it hurts.
You have to know, you need money to hire employees.
Think about it, Ah Hao is illiterate.
Fang Ru has no experience. It's best for you to go back.
You go back and help. I can take care of myself.
You being like this. How can you take care of yourself?
Why don't you jump downstair from here
and buy me a bento box to show me you can take care of yourself.
-You want to bet? -Yes.
Why don't you tie your legs here, jump downstairs to buy bento box, and bring it up?
No need to jump.
I can try.
But I'm no cheap.
-How much are you trying to sell for? -No, I'm not thinking of selling it.
I'm thinking if I help you and work,
I need 1,000,000TWD (31024.120 USD). Just 1,000,000TWD.
What? Then that would be 200,000 TWD (6204.82 USD) for one month.
Why do you need so much money for?
I want to study abroad in the United States. I did my calculations and I am still in need of 1,000,000 TWD (31,024.120 USD).
Never mind, never mind. Even though, studying abroad in the United States
is my only dream since I was a child. My 'only' dream.
But because of the hostel, because of grandma's leg, I can give up on it.
I will think of something on my own to come up with the money.
Ah Ru, hold on.
Dear viewers,
How hard is it to manage a hostel? Let me take a selfie with my baby.
One,
two,
three.
customers will come now.
- Ah, Fang Ru, you're back. - Mmm.
Ah Hao Yi.
Where's the owner at? Why didn't I seen her?
Is it serious? Why didn't she return?
Grandma's leg is broken.
She has to stay in the hospital for 3 months. It will take half a year to fully recover.
My God!
What are you doing?
Do I look happy about it? I'm about to cry.
What do we do with this hostel? What will happen to it from now on?
What do you mean?
Let's exchange, on one condition.
I will let you manage this hostel for half year.
The money the hostel earn after deducting the overall spending,
I will let you take it. You can take it all with you to the U.S.
What's wrong?
Shit.
Boss, please pick up the phone.
No problem, hand it over.
Yes.
Hello, this is JinRi Hot Spring Hotel.
F**k JinRi Hot Spring Hotel! If you don't return my money, I won't let you live through tomorrow, understand?
Ah Gao.
The guy that sells fruits. He's called Ah Gao.
Ah Gao, don't be mad. How much do we owe you? I will transfer it to you right away.
F**k You! 150,000NT! (4668.97USD)
150,000 TWD (4653.618 USD)? I will think of ways to make that money right away.
What are you laughing at?
I'm laughing that you don't know how complex of situation you are in.
Why did you boast? NT$150,000. You have to think a way to earn NT$150,000 right away.
How are you going to make that money, Boss?
-Aunt Ah Hao, Do we not even have 150,000 TWD (4653.62 USD)? -Nope.
It's no use telling you this. Grandma records in the account books.
You can go flip through the account books and see if there is the money yourself.
Boss, please pick up the phone.
Talk.
Hello, this is Jin Ri Hot Spring Hotel.
Hello, this is Second Bank.
Our hostel is closed for today, please leave a message after the beep, "Beep!".
You're laughing again. Stop laughing.
♫ Love, don't leave… ♫
♫ Lovers may have lots of things that they can't figure out ♫
Only 10,000 TWD (310.24 USD) left.
Ones, tens, hundreds, thousands, ten thousands, hundred thousands, millions.
We borrowed 1 million TWD.
No way.
I don't believe this, I don't believe this.
This is not something a blood-related grandma would do.
Grandma, you lied to me.
If you talk about this child, she really doesn't know how far off she is.
She buries her head in the sand and even thinks she can go study abroad just like others.
Even if she really do study abroad, I bet she will only spend time sleeping.
This can't be true. This is not real.
Run this hotel for half a year? I doubt it. This hotel won't even last one month.
Grandma must have a secret stash of money somewhere.
This guy looks handsome.
Grandma?
I can't even tell.
Mr. Yamada, just a little bit more. Fighting!
-Just a little bit more? How long is that? -Hurry up.
Mr. Yamada?
Mr. Yamada!
If you are lost, my dad will be mad.
Don't worry, I won't get lost.
What's this smell? Smells somewhat familiar.
It's sulfur.
Let me tell you a secret.
I'm probably going to marry the son of the village chief.
My dad arranged it.
What did you say? I don't understand.
It's nothing. This tastes good.
Mmm, delicious.
How innocent and pure they were,
standing there before a barren cliff overhanging a hot spring. They were youth.
They didn't speak the same language, but they communicated. Hey! I'm a good writer.
You might wondering, "Where'd this airhead go?" Don't worry, here I come.
Aunt Ah Hao, this new boss have something to ask you.
Tell me honestly.
Did you know beforehand that the numbers are all in red in our account book?
Boss, I've known this account book for a long time.
It was in this color the first time I saw it myself.
It's red. Red is good. There is an old saying that,
When you see red color, you'll have good luck. You know that I can't read. I can't read the number.
But this color red, I like this red, I like it.
Why isn't she color blind?
- Hi! - Uh, hi!
Welcome to Jin Ri Hot Spring Hostel.
- May I help you? - Nǐ hǎo! (hello in Chinese)
Wǒ xiǎng yào dǎgōng huàn sù (in Chinese). I would like to work in exchange for accommodation.
Bù zhīdào nǐ yǒu méiyǒu (in Chinese). I don't know if you offer that.
What did he just say?
It means stay for free, work for us in exchange for accommodation.
Does that mean he'll eat at your place and sleep in my place?
Calm yourself down. If there's no money, it's no use at all.
Uh, how long do you plan to stay?
Oh! Uh, I was thinking around three months maybe.
Three months? Oh! Oh!
Okay.
I have no idea what you are saying. Can't you talk like a human being?
He wants to stay for 3 months.
Stay for 3 months?
I'm sorry, we... no rooms! No rooms. Sorry.
It's okay, thanks for your time. Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye. - Have a nice day!
Stop, stop!
What did you say?
Ah Ru, you stupid. Why are you letting him leave?
It doesn't hurt us to feed one more person.
Look, we have no business right now. We have no one staying in the rooms. The rooms are all empty, empty!
"Kōngdé fángjiān!" I know what that means! That means you have empty rooms. You're a liar!
You shut up. Ah Hao Yi, why do you have such a powerful voice?
I don't have power. He does.
I can guarantee he is strong.
This young person and his youthful body. Let him stay,
He is very useful. He can do both hard and easy jobs.
Look at him, he's handsome. You can make a cardboard cut-out of him and put it out in the entrance to attract customers.
Look, look, look, look look! Very handsome!
Hey! I know that one too. You're thinking of me! You're very pretty too.
Oh, he must be saying I'm pretty.
You understood this phrase?
♫ Love, don't leave… ♫
♫ Lovers may have lots of things that they can't figure out ♫
What's your name?
Wǒ de míngzì shì Allen Thompson. (in Chinese) My name is Allen Thompson.
Oh, why can you speak Chinese?
- I studied Chinese for liù gè yuè (six months) at dàxué (university). - Oh!
Why do you come to Beitou?
I'm on an important trip.
Important? Ah.
I have an important question to ask you.
How old are you?
I know how to say this phrase the best.
Ěr shí wǔ! (twenty-five)
Ah! Twenty-five!
Then you must have come here right away after graduating from the university.
Bìyě? Bì-- I don't know that one.
Oh. Bìyě... bìyě... bìyě... bìyě means...
bye-bye school! Bye-bye!
Oh! Graduate?
Yeah!
I didn't graduate.
I've never seen a dropout this age.
So, any more questions?
Final test. Come here.
Open this. Yeah, open. Open!
Okay.
And this, open! Yeah!
Your hands here, yeah like that.
Like this?
Yea, like that.
Good!
I'm going to post this on Facebook right away
and see if it's just like what Aunt Ah Hao said,
a handsome foreigner will bring in popularity.
What? 168 likes already?
This foreigner is dumb and there's no cost in hiring him.
I need to make sure he stays here.
So... uh... did I get the job?
Congratulations, you passed the interview!
Welcome in joining our Jin Re Hot Spring Hostel team.
Woohoo!
Whoa, uh, you're really good at video games, aren't you?
Yeah.
I've also watched some American shows.
Tell me honestly, did you commit a murder and run away to Taiwan?
I really do like Taiwan.
Yeah, Taiwan's great. Uhh...
By the way, do you know Tomoo Yamada, the musician?
To-tomato? Oh! It's food.
No, no, no, no. Tomoo Yamada.
He is a violinist.
Uh, when he wrote his first solo piece it was actually here in Beitou.
That's why I'm here, I'm actually trying to follow his footsteps and trace his path...
Y-you, you, you speak fast. Follow, follow up.
His footsteps, his rénshēn (life), his bèijǐng (background), his guòqù (past), his...
Hey, hey, this is really cool.
Cool?
This thing, we have a lot of this in Beitou.
Hey, in fact this whole hotel's got a really kind of rustic... old...
What, old? This is called "traditional."
If you don't understand English, don't talk nonsense.
He looks like a person that doesn't understand English at all.
Right, traditional! That's what I meant.
Hey, um, where's my room?
Over here.
Oh God!
God can't save you.
Since you have no money, this is where you will stay.
Are those mushrooms!?
I'm afraid you will be hungry.
You know, this hotel looks kind of empty,
is anyone even staying here?
You say what?
We are just fine!
Stay or not. Mary's in the park.
Stay, stay! I'll stay.
Okay. Time to work!
- Move, move, move! - Okay, okay!
- Shoes! Shoes! - Okay! Okay!
- So, uh... what's the uh... first... thing... you uh... want me to do? - Ahhh!
Sorry.
I know! It's special.
Follow me.
Careful.
Hey, hey, don't look! My nèikù (underwear).
Didn't look!
Come here, come here, come here!
Move.
- Who gave you this? - Uhh...
High school boyfriend.
So romantic.
Move!
This is heavy.
Be a man, okay?
Be strong!
I can't beat you.
Go!
Go! This is Sparta!
Congratulations!
Congratulations.
Oh, okay. What's next?
Put that in the storage room.
You want me to put that in the storage room by myself?
Yeah.
What's this for?
Take picture everywhere!
Take pictures everywhere?
Yeah, portrait-orientation.
- Take pictures everywhere... - Portrait-orientation!
- Portrait-orientation! Portrait-orientation! Portrait-orientation! - Oh, oh selfies!
- Yes! - Take selfies everywhere.
- Yeah! - Okay, let me get this straight.
You want me to move that into the storage room by myself and then
go around the hotel taking selfies of myself.
Yes, you finally understand.
Your English is not that good.
I get it.
Be careful, careful! My precious piggy.
I get it.
Wow...
It definitely works with this fan page.
Whoa!
What's wrong with you?
What happened to your head, lady?
It's beautiful, right? And, don't call me "lady."
Call me boss or call me Fang Ru.
Oh, Fang Ru? Nice to meet you, Fang Ru.
Listen, Fang Ru, there's a violin upstairs. Do you know where it's from?
What- what- what- what... what violin?
First room on the left.
Oh! That's my Ama's room.
When did she buy that?
Could he have stayed here?
- Come with me. - Hey. Hey.
I haven't finish setting up the fan page.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Look at this.
Wow.
Grandma did have a violin.
Now...
Tomoo Yamada, remember?
Oh! I know. Tomato is food.
- I told you. - Ahhhh!
Ah! No! Wait. Stay here. Don't move.
Who cares, I'm going to move.
What are you going to do about it?
Look. Tomoo Yamada.
Tomoo Yamada.
I can't see.
Tomoo Yamada.
This guy, you see? World-class musician.
Oh, it really is him.
I can't believe my luck. He stayed here!
This is his violin.
Why do we have something this amazing here?
If I bring this back I can totally get Christina back.
What? Chris what?
I said... Christmas. I could... get Christmas with this...
Oh.
You lied to me. Christmas is Halloween.
You said this is Christina.
Girlfriend?
Ex.
Oh.
Went to the same school together.
She studied music and played the violin.
That's- that's... she introduced me to Tomoo Yamada,
that's-- that's why I like him so much.
Then she left me for someone else.
We planned this whole trip together and now it's just me.
That's why you learned Chinese?
You poor guy.
To comfort someone in English, it is common to say "I'm sorry" and "I regret that..."
I'm so sorry.
You know... if I could take this violin home, I could win her back.
You want to buy this violin?
Yep!
♫ Love, don't leave… ♫
♫ Lovers may have lots of things that they can't figure out ♫
If I could take this violin home, I could win her back.
You want to buy this violin?
Yep.
No! It's not for sale.
I'll give you $10,000.
No, I'm not that type of person.
I'll give you twenty-thousand, U.S. dollars.
No!
I'm not that type of person.
Final offer, I'll give you thirty-thousand U.S. dollars.
Thirty-thousand U.S. dollars! I can go abroad with that money.
I can think about it.
Hey! I said maybe.
If you work hard here, maybe I can sell this violin to you.
I'm your man, Fang Ru! I'll work my little butt off, you know it!
Good!
I'm afraid you are a liar.
I need deposit.
Twenty-hundred USD.
Two-thousand U.S. dollars?
- Yes. - That is all I have!
Who cares?
If you cannot pay me èrshíbǎi (twenty-hundred), how can you pay me sānshíqiān (thirty-thousand)?
No dìngjīn(deposit), no violin.
Okay. Bye-bye Christina!
No! Okay, okay, okay! Wait.
You drive a hard bargain.
Yeah!
It's a deal.
Thus my magical indentured servitude began with an emergency meeting.
Okay.
Are you sure they don't have a mop?
-Larry is in the park. -What?
Boss, pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone, pick it up. Talk.
Hello?
Come on, please.We already given you half the payment. Send us the blankets first. The guests has no blankets to cover, pity them.
Okay, that is all, thank you.
Now you know it's hard.
Now you know it is hard to run a business.
Allen, you have such a nice butt.
Fang Ru, you didn't even go abroad,
how did you get yourself a foreigner boy friend?
He's not. He's Allen. He's here to work for free in exchange for accommodation.
He's our new employee.
Hello!
You can speak Chinese?
A little bit.
I is Quan shu.
Uncle Quan.
Kitchen.
I is chú shī (I am a chef).
-shī -I is chú shī(I am a chef).
-chú shī(chef) -chú shī(chef)
- Chef in kitchen.*- Uncle Quan eats feces.**(*: Chu Fang Chu Shi. **: Quan Shu Chi Shi)
Quan Shu Chī shǐ (Quan Shu eat sh*t. )
Stop laughing.
You choked didn't you, stop laughing.
What are you doing back here instead of helping the Boss at the hospital?
Oh, that's right, almost forgot something important.
I have something to announce, follow me to the kitchen.
What?
Very important thing. Let's go.
Okay.
The Taiwanese are very dramatic.
I heard our neighbor, Potato Yu, mentioned that
someone who evaluate hotels
will come stay in our hotel.
- Who is Potato Yu?- It's that Ah Yu who has a permed Afro hair.
Oh, him.
Isn't he
called Xiao Yu?
When Xiao Yu* becomes fat, it can become potato.(*: Xiao Yu is the name for the yellow watermelon in Taiwanese.)
Potato expands and swells. It's fat now.
Quiet!
Haha... I have no idea why we're laughing about.
Oh, I will translate for you later.
They will post the evaluation report online.
I heard that this website is quite authoritative.
Let me ask you. Did you hear
Did you hear what website it is? What kind of no-name website? They want to come and evaluate? What rights do they have?
This... I heard that the owner
has just open a 5-star... 5-star
spa hotel. What they means is to get all the hotels
out of business.
Oh my God!
That means I'm going to loose my job and be unemployed.
Do you need to be over exaggerating?
What soap opera are you acting?
Excuse me,
When are they coming? What are they going to dress up as?
From what I heard, they will pretend to be a married couple and stay for a night.
No way. For my dream to go to America, I can't let these inspectors to have anything on us.
Come on,
Fighting!
Now it's the time to clean.
Dirty.
Not bad for first day of work. Christina... this is for you, baby.
Hey, what are you doing?
Why are you shaking so much? Are you sick?
No, I'm nervous.
-Nervous? -Yes.
I did my research online and
I heard those two inspectors are very sharp. People call them the Condor Heroes.
I heard that Potato Yu's husband knelt down to beg them last time but it didn't help.
It's better to be that stupid. It's too stupid to know what to do.
How could you believe rumors online? Not even the Condor Heroes. Are they going to ride on a big bird?
Right. They need to have high Qinggong* to walk on snow without a trace and manage birds without problems.(* a technique in Chinese martial arts.)
Then reach to the highest point. Just like what they show on TV, they just ride on a big bird.
And that big bird will yell, "Ah. Ah."
Okay, stop.
Do you have to exaggerate to this extend?
I'm trying to make you laugh and relax seeing how nervous you are.
I don't know when they'll arrive tomorrow.
This I know.
When?
The first group.
How do you know?
We have no business in our hotel. There's no guest, not even a fly. When they come, they will obviously be our first guest.
Oh, that's right. Why did I not think of that. You sure are smart.
Enough. Sh. Why do you laugh so loud? We're on the train. Don't you know?
Please keep the cabin clean when you take the metro.
Don't eat or drink inside the cabin.
Don't speak loud.
Just now we demonstrated wrong. Don't learn from us, good kids.
♫ Lovers may have lots of things that they can't figure out ♫
We took a long time with the preparation. Success is our only option, failure is not allowed.
Did I hit it?
-No. -What, no?
You can't even hit a fly,
your skill sucks.
That's impossible.
Listen, this is our hotel's traditional uniform.
There are people coming today. For our honor,
we can't fail, understand?
Yes, sir!
There is a sense of killing. What will be here is here.
Everyone in your position. On alert.
Red warning. Dangerous. Dangerous.
Welcome to Jin Re Hot Spring Hotel. Are you here to stay or rest?
Stay one night for two people. Thank you.
Okay. I'll help you to register. Please provide one photo ID to register.
Honey, you are amazing.
Yang Guo. No wonder people call them the Condor Heroes.
Have some tea.
Feces, have some tea.
Who did you call feces? You better explain it clearly.
-Qǐng yòng chá (Please have some tea.) -Handsome guy,
You tea smells good and you're very cute.
He is better looking than you.
You employed a foreigner? Does he have a working visa? Is he an illegal resident?
No, that's a misunderstanding. He is a foreigner 'friend' that's here to work in exchange for accommodation.
I'm here to work in exchange for accommodation.
I don't get paid for my work, but my service is still great.
Did you hear him? He is not getting paid yet provides a great service. He has such a good heart.
Register, please.
Miss, is it ready?
Oh, okay, okay. I'm sorry.
Here is your ID card.
Here are your room keys. Later, our foreigner friend will help bring your luggages to your room.
- Will this foreigner friend help bring them up?- Yes.
Thank you.
Your welcome. Enjoy your stay.
Allen, how to say chrysanthemum in English?
Oh, chrysanthemum.
- Krusanumum. - Uhh...
- Chry-san-the-mum. - Kru-san-tha-mum?
Uncle Quan, the Condor Heroes outside, one is like a pig and the other one is like a monkey.
They keep slapping heads. They're so strange. I'm very afraid.
Do you think they may have known that we know they're inspectors?
Don't be afraid. Use your smile. Allen, smile.
Look, this is the smile. Show me your smile.
Come on. Not a frown face.
Right now, I'll teach you a secret technique.
You yell out your dream inside then you won't be scared.
Christina, I'm doing this for you!
Ah Mi, I'm doing this for you! Your turn.
America, my America, I must go there!
Do you feel better after doing that?
-Yes. -Yes
Let's do it again.
-Christina... -Ah Mi, I'm doing this for you... -America, I must go...
- Stop. Now do you feel great?- Great.
God, give me a guest.
What's this?
Oh my, there are so many reporters.
You must pay, it's a must.
This is empty, it's horrible!
He wants a black cloth. Do we have it?
Selling this violin is not an important matter right now. This cannot be sold. It's very important to Grandma.
You told me you'd sell me the violin just so you could get my money?
If you can't pay it all this month, our bank has the right to foreclosure this hotel.
Timing and Subtitles brought to you by The Lovers on the Metro Team @ Viki
♫ Take down the mask that you've been wearing for so long ♫
♫ Run towards the border of your dreams ♫
♫ The night of the pumpkin carriage ♫
♫ Change to the glass heels of the fairy tale ♫
♫ Let me enjoy this feeling ♫
♫ The lack of understanding of this chaotic world ♫
♫ Let me have a taste of this ♫
♫ The lack of understanding of this chaotic world ♫
♫ Yesterday is too close, tomorrow is too far away ♫
♫ Quietly listening to the dark night ♫
♫ The wind blowing the lotus leaves ♫
♫ Allow me to get drunk by the pond ♫
♫ Wait 'til you see my beauty clearly ♫
♫ The glow of the moon drying away my tears ♫
♫ That person loved me ♫
♫ Taking my hand and holding it tightly ♫
♫ Taking my hand and holding it tightly, love... don't go ♫